Gutter: One day is all it takes

Here I thought that serious, complicated issues took a considerable amount of time to address. Turns out you can get it done in one day.

From the Post-Gazette:

Mayor Luke Ravenstahl and Pittsburgh Schools Superintendent Mark Roosevelt this morning kicked off a summit on high school dropouts, one of more than 100 nationwide sponsored by the America's Promise Alliance, a nonprofit group affiliated with retired Gen. Colin Powell.

The daylong event at the Downtown YWCA is designed to bring city school and civic leaders together to develop a plan to address the city's 35 percent dropout rate. The plan will be finalized later in the day. (emphasis added)

"Okay guys, here's the plan. Let's sit down, have some coffee and bagels, shoot the breeze about how Panera's bagels are so much better than Bruegger's but they're also twice the size and, man, those calories go right to my hips and hey, has anybody been to that Dunkin' Donuts in Squirrel Hill yet? That is so good and oh-so-bad to have a D&D right up Forbes Avenue. Gonna have to do some extra running this year. Did you see that it's certified Kosher? How about that? Can I get a chocolate frosted Kosher donut hole?

"Anyway, let's talk about this drop-out thing. Man, it's bad, isn't it? Whoa, lunch time. Who's up for Sammy's? Love that corned beef. Is that Kosher?"

- Break for lunch -

"Oh man, I shouldn't have eaten that whole sandwich. I could take a nap right now. Anybody want to run out for some Five Hour Energy Drink. That would really hit the spot."

- Break for energy drink -

"Okay guys, it's about 3:30. What does everybody think about the drop-out situation?"

"It's bad."

"Good point by you. I like that. For our plan, let's make it resolution-style and start off with some whereas statements. Number one: Whereas the drop-out situation is bad."

"Nice. Good start."

"Oh oh oh, I know what number two should be: Education is good."

"Man we're cooking now."

"Okay, number three: hmmm, I'm not really sure what else to put for our whereas statements. Let's go with two."

"I know: young people are our most valuable resource."

"That is so money. I love that shit."

"Yeah, that's good, right? I saw it on a poster outside the YMCA."

"Nice. Now then, we've got three whereas statements. Let's hit the resolution and get the hell out of here. So, let it be resolved that the city of Pittsburgh and the Pittsburgh Public School system focus renewed energy and resources on curbing this issue so that the young people of this city can have a brighter future ahead."

"Sweet. Think we should get into specifics about where the resources would come from or what exactly we plan to do to address the 35% dropout rate?"

"Are you kidding? It's quarter to five. We've been here since 9:30. I'd say this plan is finalized. Mad Mex anyone?"

End scene


Look. I'm all for addressing the drop-out rate. 35% is a ridiculously high - and embarrassing - number for the city school system. But a one-day summit? With a plan to be “finalized later in the day”?

Hey, let’s spend the next 45 minutes coming up with a plan to get out of Afghanistan. How about a two-hour sit-down to address the world’s AIDS problem? Got 15 minutes to shoot the breeze about swine flu?

Come on. What can realistically come out of this other than a photo op, a few handshakes with photogenically-disheveled drop-outs, and an empty “achievement” to brag about at a latter date? And this is happening all over the country as part of the America’s Promise Alliance, which is sponsoring “more than 100 nationwide” summits.

How about dedicating real resources to addressing the problem? A one-day summit is almost insulting to the breadth and seriousness of this problem.

Taking the drop-out problem seriously requires more than one day.

Gutter: Cheapskate final standings

Since it’s been two and a half months since the World Series, I figured maybe I should wrap up the Cheapskate standings sometime before spring practice starts.

To refresh: the Cheapskate recognizes the Major League Baseball team that did the most with the least in the 2008 season. To arrive at that conclusion, we took the four franchises with the lowest team salaries to start the season. At the end of the season, the total salary was divided by the number of wins to determine the money spent per win. The team that spends the least per victory is named winner of the inaugural Cheapskate Award.

A couple caveats:

1. The Cheapskate only deals with the salaries at the start of the season. Salary dumps and All-Star break pickups and other such transactions are not included, mostly because the Cheapskate selection committee is too lazy to do that much research.

2. The Cheapskate selection committee is also too lazy to come up with any sort of equation that determines which team actually won the most games while spending the least. Those calculations would undoubtedly require far more effort than the current equation demands, so we’re sticking with the one we’ve got.


Here are the numbers we’re working with.

Total salaries (according to this list published by the Associated Press):

Pittsburgh $49,365,283
Oakland $47,967,126
Tampa Bay $43,820,598
Florida $21,836,500

Cost per game:

Pittsburgh $304,723.97
Oakland $296,093.37
Tamp Bay $270,497.52
Florida $134,793.21


Now then, it’s time to present the first-ever Cheapskate Award. After a long season of sliding by with a blue-light special payroll of $21 million and an average cost per game of just under $260,000, the inaugural Cheapskate goes to…

The Florida Marlins

Congratulations to the Marlins. Nobody knows how to build up and then tear down a franchise like the Marlins. Fact is, Florida was in the race for the NL East for most of the season before falling off behind the far-more financially-endowed Mets and Phillies.

By far the best performer in the Cheapskate running this season were the Tampa Bay Rays. TB beat out the ridiculous spending of New York and Boston to win the AL East and then made it all the way to the World Series before falling to the Phillies. And that was all accomplished with a preseason payroll of $43 million.

Of course, the hook with the Rays was that they were full of very talented young players who were still early in their contracts, thus not costing the franchise an arm and a leg. It’s amazing: if you draft well and develop well, you can have a window of at least a few seasons where your payroll is low and your talent is high.

Pittsburgh, we’re looking at you here. Let’s try to emulate that over the next couple years, eh?

The Marlins and the Rays were the only Cheapskate teams to finish with winning records, as Oakland and Pittsburgh just flat-out sucked. The Athletics won 75 games and finished 24.5 games out of first place in the AL West despite competing for the better part of the first half of the season. The Pirates were never in competition for the NL, and their God-awful trades in 2008 led to a piss-poor 67 wins.

Great job Pirates. Way to show up this year. And for each of those 67 wins, you spent over $700,000. Money well spent, to be sure.


That’s all for us here at the Cheapskate Awards. It’s been an awful season, and now that the Yankees have spent $400 million on three players in the offseason, 2009 looks to be even worse. Maybe the Cheapskate will be back next season. Maybe not. Really, it all depends on whether or not the AP publishes the preseason salaries again.



Record: 84-77
Standing: 3rd in NL East
Games back: 7.5
Money spent per win: $259,958.33


Record: 97-65
Standing: 1st in AL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $451,758.74

Record: 75-86
Standing: 3rd in AL West
Games back: 24.5
Money spent per win: $639, 561.68


Record: 67-95
Standing: 6th in NL Central
Games back: 30.5
Money spent per win: $736,795. 27

Gutter: Cheapskate teams hit struggles

It’s been five days since the last Cheapskate update, and all four of Major League Baseball’s lowest-salaried teams have not been faring well. Tampa Bay, who had won six in a row heading into last Wednesday (the day of the most recent Cheapskate update), lost to the Yankees that day, and though they rebounded with a win over the Bronx Bombers and then took the first game of a series in St. Louis, the Rays then dropped the final two games against the Cardinals and have fallen to second place in the AL East.

Florida has continued to struggle, despite sitting on top of the NL East and the Cheapskate. The Marlins avoided a four-game sweep by the Reds only with help from God, as the final game of the series was rained out on Thursday. The Marlins then hosted pitiful Kansas City for a weekend series, but that didn’t go well either, as the Royals took two of three. Florida is still one game ahead of New York and Philadelphia in the NL East and over $200,000 ahead of (behind?) anyone else in the Cheapskate.

Oakland’s struggles continued over the final half of last week, and the once-hot A’s have now lost five of their last six and seven of their last 10 after getting swept in Cleveland and dropping two of three in Atlanta over the weekend.

As for our hometown Buccos, they still haven’t been able to cross that .500 threshold. Winning just one game in Chicago over the weekend was exactly one more win than I thought they were capable of in the Windy City, but they’ll need to make a statement in the upcoming six-game homestand (vs. Milwaukee and the Cubs). Seems to me that this is the exact kind of homestand that usually dashes all hopes of a successful Pirates’ season: late May, against back-to-back divisional opponents, sitting just under .500. Usually that scenario leads to a 1-5 performance that kills any optimism that might have been lurking about.

This week we’ll get a Cheapskate divisional tussle when the Athletics host the Rays. After that series, Oakland gets the Red Sox at home, while Tampa Bay comes back home to host Baltimore. For the Marlins, this week has two NL West teams coming to town, starting with the hot Diamondbacks to start the week and the terrible Giants to end it.

Just to refresh, the Cheapskate rewards the team that is able to spend the least amount of money per win. Here are the numbers we’re working with.

Total salaries (according to this list published by the Associated Press):

Pittsburgh $49,365,283
Oakland $47,967,126
Tampa Bay $43,820,598
Florida $21,836,500

Cost per game:

Pittsburgh $304,723.97
Oakland $296,093.37
Tamp Bay $270,497.52
Florida $134,793.21

We’re rewarding value-based mediocrity and the teams that get the most out of spending the least.

Now on to the standings:



Record: 24-19
Standing: 1st in NL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $241,504.50

Record: 25-19
Standing: 2nd in AL East
Games back: 1
Money spent per win: $476,075.64

Record: 24-21
Standing: 2nd in AL West
Games back: 1.5
Money spent per win: $555,175.07


Record: 21-23
Standing: T-4th in NL Central
Games back: 6
Money spent per win: $638,469.27

Peak: Still some heat in the Cheapskate

I should probably amend that logo that I used on the last Cheapskate update. Instead of showing a roller skate on fire, it should be the Tampa Bay Rays’ logo en fuego, because the Rays are one of the hottest teams in the MLB right now, let alone the Cheapskate standings.

Tampa Bay has the longest current winning streak in the league as winners of six in a row, and that streak of success has vaulted the Rays back into the top spot in the AL East, ahead of the slumping Red Sox.

In the world of the Cheapskate, Tampa Bay’s run has the Rays holding on to second place behind only the very cheap Marlins. And what’s more, the Rays’ cost per win in this update (around $458,000) is the lowest mark achieved by a team other than Florida this season.

Speaking of the Marlins, they’ve hit a bit of a rough stretch, as their seven-game winning streak was snapped by losses in the first two games of a series at pitiful Cincinnati. Florida still sits at the top of the NL East and the Cheapskate, and they get two more shots at the Reds before heading home to host the Royals, so I’m guessing that the Marlins are still in good shape.

Oakland could use another upswing. Sure, the A’s are only .5 game back in the AL West and hanging in third in the Cheapskate, but they’ve gone 5-5 over their last 10. They lost to the Indians in Cleveland last night; after two more games against Chief Wahoo, they’ll be off to Atlanta to face the really-good-at-home Braves. Oakland needs to get on the winning track or they could fall further in the West and the Cheapskate.

And then there’s the flirting-with-.500 Pirates. Winning the opener of Monday’s double-header put the Buccos one game under the magic mark of average-ness, but they dropped the second game. Last night, they rebounded and bounced the Cardinals in St. Louis, and they’re right back to one game under. Pittsburgh is currently 4 games back in the NL Central, but they’ve got a tough stretch coming up; sweeping, or at least taking two-out-of-three from, the Cardinals would go a long way toward establishing some positive momentum.

In the Cheapskate, the Pirates are now just over $100,000 behind the third-place team (in this case, Oakland). This is about as close as the Buccos have gotten to climbing out of the Cheapskate cellar, but a healthy run of winning baseball can push Pittsburgh out of the depths and into contention.

Just to refresh, the Cheapskate rewards the team that is able to spend the least amount of money per win. Here are the numbers we’re working with.

Total salaries (according to this list published by the Associated Press):

Pittsburgh $49,365,283
Oakland $47,967,126
Tampa Bay $43,820,598
Florida $21,836,500

Cost per game:

Pittsburgh $304,723.97
Oakland $296,093.37
Tamp Bay $270,497.52
Florida $134,793.21

We’re rewarding value-based mediocrity and the teams that get the most out of spending the least.



Record: 23-16
Standing: 1st in NL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $228,562.40

Record: 23-16
Standing: 1st in AL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $458,669.70

Record: 23-17
Standing: 2nd in AL West
Games back: .5
Money spent per win: $514,944.99


Record: 19-20
Standing: 5th in NL Central
Games back: 4
Money spent per win: $625,486.04

Peak: This skate's on fire!

And I thought the Cheapskate teams were on fire in the last update.

Look out, big-money markets of Major League Baseball:

Here come the bottom-feeders.

Every single one of the four teams in the running for the first-ever Cheapskate award is on fire. The unbelievable Marlins continue to sit in first place in the NL East on the strength of a seven-game winning streak. The amazing Rays of Tampa Bay are back within 1.5 games of the AL East-leading Red Sox after winning four in a row. The Athletics have held on to the top spot in the AL West by winning four of their last six. And even the Pirates, in all of their crapitude, are currently riding a five-game winning streak that has enabled them to climb to two games under .500 and just a half-game out of fourth place in the NL Central.

It’s amazing what these value-minded bargain-basement teams are accomplishing. And people say the dollar is weak.

Just to refresh, the Cheapskate rewards the team that is able to spend the least amount of money per win. Here are the numbers we’re working with.

Total salaries (according to this list published by the Associated Press):

Pittsburgh $49,365,283
Oakland $47,967,126
Tampa Bay $43,820,598
Florida $21,836,500

Cost per game:

Pittsburgh $304,723.97
Oakland $296,093.37
Tamp Bay $270,497.52
Florida $134,793.21

We’re rewarding value-based mediocrity and the teams that get the most out of spending the least.

Florida has held on to the top spot in the Cheapskate all season, but the Marlins’ new mark of $216,000 per win is the lowest since the first Cheapskate standings. Tampa Bay’s winning streak has vaulted the Rays into second place in the Cheapskate for the second time this season. And while the Pirates are still bringing up the rear, their current rate of $645,000 per win is as low as they’ve had since the season’s second Cheapskate update, when they got down to $565,000 after a big winning streak.

Coming up next, the Marlins go to Cincinnati for a four-game series against the worse-than-the-Pirates Reds. Tampa Bay hosts the stuck-at-.500 Yankees for a four-game series. Oakland has Monday off before a three-game series at Cleveland. And the Pirates wrap up their four-game home tilt against the Braves with a double-header on Monday before going to St. Louis to start a three-game series against the Cardinals.



It’s a big time for the Cheapskate teams. Here are the most recent standings:




Record: 23-14
Standing: 1st in NL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $216,841.25

Record: 21-16
Standing: 2nd in AL East
Games back: 1.5
Money spent per win: $476,590.87

Record: 23-16
Standing: 1st in AL West
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $502,071.37


Record: 17-19
Standing: 5th in NL Central
Games back: 4.5
Money spent per win: $645,297.82

Gutter: Cheapskate update - 5/9

Oh man, the Cheapskate teams are really heating up now.

I mean, for spending next to nothing (in baseball terms, at least), the four teams in the running for the first-ever Cheapskate Award are putting on quite a show. The Marlins and the Athletics have been at or near the top of their respective divisions all season, so there’s not much new there, but all four teams are currently out of the basement; and beyond that, they’re all playing pretty well right now.

After dropping out of the top spot in the NL East for a day or two, the Marlins have been on a tear, winning four in a row to stay in first in the division. They need it, too, since the Braves, who are 1.5 games back, have won six straight.

The Athletics also regained the top spot in their division, winning four in a row to tie the Angels for leads in the AL West. Even the Pirates have put together a little streak, sweeping the worse-than-the-Pirates San Francisco Giants to put a firm hold on fifth place in the NL Central and climb back to only four games under .500.

Only the Rays have been struggling lately, losing four of the last six but doing just enough to stay above .500 and hold on to second place in the AL East.

Not surprisingly, all of this winning has had a positive impact on the teams’ cost-per-win. Everyone’s cost is down in this update, including the Pirates who finally got under that $700,000 mark. Oakland is below $500,000 again, while the Rays keep getting closer to the half-a-mill mark. Florida, of course, with its yard sale salary, continues to be a tremendous bargain. Getting a guy like Hanley Ramirez early in his career will do that for you.

The weekend series for the Cheapskate teams should be interesting. Florida gets a chance to stay hot with a road trip to the nation’s capital for a showdown with the 15-20 (that’s worse than the Pirates) Nationals. Oakland stays in the division with a three-game tilt at 16-20 Texas. The Rays get a chance to help the A’s in the standings with a home series against the Angels. And the Pirates host red-hot Atlanta for four games, which should effectively end Pittsburgh’s current three-game winning streak and any chance the Pirates have of eclipsing the .500 mark.

Now on to the Cheapskate standings. Remember, we’re recognizing the team who spends the least per win, in essence rewarding value-based mediocrity.

Just to refresh, here are the numbers we’re working with.

Total salaries (according to this list published by the Associated Press):

Pittsburgh $49,365,283
Oakland $47,967,126
Tampa Bay $43,820,598
Florida $21,836,500

Cost per game:

Pittsburgh $304,723.97
Oakland $296,093.37
Tamp Bay $270,497.52
Florida $134,793.21



Record: 20-14
Standing: 1st in NL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $229,148. 46

Record: 22-14
Standing: T-1st in AL West
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $484,516.42


Record: 18-16
Standing: 2nd in AL East
Games back: 3.5
Money spent per win: $510,939.76

Record: 15-19
Standing: 5th in NL Central
Games back: 6
Money spent per win: $690,707.67

Peak: Fever in the funk house, Pt. 9 - Desire

Or: How I fill up 2 GB

(Being the continuing alphabetical series of the contents of my iPod)




Album: Desire
Artist: Bob Dylan
Released: 1976

Track listing:
1. Hurricane
2. Isis
3. Mozambique
4. One More Cup of Coffee (Valley Below)
5. Oh, Sister
6. Joey
7. Romance in Durango
8. Black Diamond Bay
9. Sara


Allmusic.com review:
If Blood on the Tracks was an unapologetically intimate affair, Desire is unwieldy and messy, the deliberate work of a collective. And while Bob Dylan directly addresses his crumbling relationship with his wife, Sara, on the final track, Desire is hardly as personal as its predecessor, finding Dylan returning to topical songwriting and folk tales for the core of the record. It's all over the map, as far as songwriting goes, and so is it musically, capturing Dylan at the beginning of the Rolling Thunder Revue era, which was more notable for its chaos than its music. And, so it's only fitting that Desire fits that description as well, as it careens between surging folk-rock, Mideastern dirges, skipping pop, and epic narratives. It's little surprise that Desire doesn't quite gel, yet it retains its own character — really, there's no other place where Dylan tried as many different styles, as many weird detours, as he does here. And, there's something to be said for its rambling, sprawling character, which has a charm of its own. Even so, the record would have been assisted by a more consistent set of songs; there are some masterpieces here, though: "Hurricane" is the best-known, but the effervescent "Mozambique" is Dylan at his breeziest, "Sara" at his most nakedly emotional, and "Isis" is one of his very best songs of the '70s, a hypnotic, contemporized spin on a classic fable. This may not add up to a masterpiece, but it does result in one of his most fascinating records of the '70s and '80s — more intriguing, lyrically and musically, than most of his latter-day affairs.


The second Dylan album on my iPod is one of the more unique recordings by arguably the greatest songwriter of the 20th century, since seven of the record’s nine tracks were co-written with theater director/songwriter/clinical psychologist Jacques Levy. The result is a collection of perhaps the most literal songs Dylan ever released. You won’t find much in the way of “smoked my eyelid and punched my cigarette” on this album; instead you get a handful of straight-ahead story songs that tell you exactly what they think. There’s no mystery or surrealism in “Hurricane” or “Joey” and anyone with the reading comprehension of a fourth grader can understand those songs for precisely what they are. Only “One More Cup of Coffee” and “Sara” were penned by Dylan alone, but those two don’t deviate much from the straightforward-ness of the Dylan/Levy numbers.

The other unique element of Desire is Scarlet Rivera, whose violin brings a haunting tone to every song in the album and adds more depth to the tunes that one would think a single instrument was capable of. The instant the violin appears in each track, things become exponentially darker, livelier, and altogether more interesting.

“Hurricane” is probably the best-known track on the album, and for good reason: here is Dylan pulling no punches, going after the man in a way that only he can, with enough fire, vitriol, and pure anger to break down prison walls. At times, Dylan ever foregoes the notions of rhythm, verse, and rhyme to make his points, and the effect is even more powerful.

Naturally, such incendiary statements as were made in “Hurricane” drew public ire (which, really, is the only way to gauge effectiveness; if you write a song like “Hurricane” and it doesn’t piss people off, you’ve probably failed). But in reading about Desire, it seems that “Joey” caught a lot of flack, too, for its rather flattering portrayal of mobster Joey Gallo. You can read the wikipedia write-up on Desire for more details, but the short version is that in “Joey” Dylan romanticized a rather un-romantic/un-sympathetic figure. Far from the wrongly-accused Rubin Carter of “Hurricane,” Gallo was, by all accounts, a pretty bad person.

(The interesting sidenote is that Dylan seems to have concocted his notion of Gallo via conversations with actor Jerry Orbach, who was supposedly a friend of the mobster.)

For me, the highlight of Desire is “Isis.” With its driving piano (played by Dylan himself), the adventure-based tale of a man trying to find himself after probably marrying too early almost instantly became one of my favorite Dylan songs. Checking in at almost seven minutes (6:58 to be exact), “Isis” follows the narrator on a long journey that eventually leads him back to his bride; upon his return, the two have one of the greatest conversations ever set to music.

To wit:

She said ‘where you been?’
I said ‘no place special.’
She said ‘you look different.’
I said ‘well, I guess.’
She said ‘you’ve been gone.’
I said ‘that’s only natural.’
She said ‘you gonna stay?’
I said ‘if you want me to, yes.'

Good stuff. The video below is a live performance of “Isis,” but I recommend checking out the studio version as well for its steady, determined flow.

Really, as has been the case with pretty much every album I’ve included in this series so far, I highly recommend seeking out Desire. It’s a must-listen for Dylan fans, to be sure, and I think its appeal reaches even beyond that large segment of the population.

Gutter: Cheapskate update - 5/5

The Cheapskate has started to permeate my life in new venues.

I was on a radio station in Louisville last Thursday to talk about a few Big East topics. I felt like the segment was headed in the right direction when they came out of the commercial break with “Statesboro Blues,” but things took a downturn when the host began bemoaning the fact that the Baltimore Orioles had lost an afternoon game to the Tampa Bay Rays.

In his words, the Rays were a “sucky” team, and he couldn’t believe that his “beloved O’s” had lost to such a bottom-feeder. In all honesty, I was about to begin a 10-minute tangent on the Rays, the Cheapskate, and value-based mediocrity, but he never let me get there, instead steering the conversation back to our predetermined topic. It was particularly relevant because that Thursday game was Tampa Bay’s 8th win in 9 games, and that hot streak had put the Rays not only on top of the AL East but also in second place in the Cheapskate standings.

Then, as the interview concluded, the host signed off with the standard “thanks for coming on the show, we’ll talk to you soon” stuff that usually ends these kinds of things. Sensing my last opportunity to spread word of the Cheapskate, I replied with “no problem, take it easy and watch out for those Rays,” hoping he would bite on the line.


Host: Watch out for what?

Me: The Rays. The Tampa Bay Rays.

Host (with the “go-to-commercial” music blaring behind him): Oh right. You know, I don’t mind being behind the Yankees or the Red Sox, but the Rays? That sucks –

Me (cutting him off and talking as fast as I can): Yeah-you-have-to-watch-out-for-them-they-have-won-like-six-in-a-row-and-they’re-really-catching-fire-and-they’ve-cut-their-cost-per-game-all-the-way-down-to –

Host (after cutting my phone line): We’ll be back in just a minute.


So I tried to spread the word of the Cheapskate, but no dice. Oh well.

Anyway, the Rays have come back down to earth, sort of, having lost three in a row over the weekend. But the rest of the AL East is struggling, too, so Tampa Bay is caught in a three-way tie for second place with the Yankees and the Orioles.

The Athletics went 2-2 over the weekend, holding onto second place in the AL West but jumping over the Rays to retake second in the Cheapskate. The Marlins have had a rough week, losing four of their last six and falling from first to a tie with the Mets for second in the NL East, but their blue-light special salary virtually ensures they’ll stay on top of the Cheapskate for some time.

And the Pirates? Well, they suck. They went 1-3 in a four-game series with the craptastic Nationals over the weekend, they’ve lost two in a row, and they’ve only won three of their last 10. What’s worse is that they’re spending more on annual salary than the other three teams in the Cheapskate and at the same time they have fewer wins (12) than Florida (17), Oakland (19), and Tampa Bay (16).


Just to refresh, here are the numbers we’re working with.

Total salaries (according to this list published by the Associated Press):

Pittsburgh $49,365,283
Oakland $47,967,126
Tampa Bay $43,820,598
Florida $21,836,500

Cost per game:

Pittsburgh $304,723.97
Oakland $296,093.37
Tamp Bay $270,497.52
Florida $134,793.21






Record: 17-14
Standing: T-2nd in NL East
Games back: .5
Money spent per win: $245,799.38

Record: 19-14
Standing: 2nd in AL West
Games back: 1
Money spent per win: $514,267.43


Record: 16-15
Standing: T-2nd in AL East
Games back: 3
Money spent per win: $524,088.95

Record: 11-16
Standing: 6th in NL Central
Games back: 6
Money spent per win: $787,203.59

Peak: Fever in the funk house, Pt. 8 - Come Dancing with the Kinks

Or: How I fill up 2 GB

(Being the continuing alphabetical series of the contents of my iPod)





Album: Come Dancing with the Kinks – The Best of the Kinks
Artist: The Kinks
Released: 1986

Track listing:
1. Living on a Thin Line

Like many people (I assume), I first became aware of “Living on a Thin Line” after hearing it on the episode of The Sopranos titled “University,” a brilliant third season episode that is probably most memorable for the brutality of one mobster beating a young stripper to death. The song seems to appear repeatedly throughout the episode during various scenes inside the strip bar, and its message of impending change (or the doom that will come without change) is just another example of the genius use of music in The Sopranos.



Youtube won’t let me embed the video (and it looks like some weird video game promo anyway), but here’s the link. Good jam.

Gutter: Cheapskate update - 5/1

It’s a momentous occasion.

The first shake-up in the history of the Cheapskate standings has finally happened: the surging Tampa Bay Rays, who have won 8 of their last 10, vaulted past the stumbling Oakland Athletics to take over second place in the initial standings of the Cheapskate Award, presented annually to the Major League Baseball team that accomplishes the most with the least.

In summation, we’re rewarding value-based mediocrity.

Just to refresh, here are the numbers.

Total salaries (according to this list published by the Associated Press):

Pittsburgh $49,365,283
Oakland $47,967,126
Tampa Bay $43,820,598
Florida $21,836,500

Cost per game:

Pittsburgh $304,723.97
Oakland $296,093.37
Tamp Bay $270,497.52
Florida $134,793.21

An intricate and complicated formula is then applied to determine a cost-per-win to date. The teams are ranked based on who has spent the least per win. The Marlins, with their blue-light special salary, have a considerable advantage, so the other three will have to enjoy extraordinary success on the field to pass Florida.

In addition to holding the top spot in the Cheapskate, the Marlins are also still at the head of the NL East, although that lead is quickly dwindling. Florida has lost two in a row and 5 of their last 8; as a result, the Mets and the Phillies are each within one-half game of the Marlins.

The Athletics, meanwhile, have held strong to the second spot in the Cheapskate and the top spot in the AL West all season, but a two-game losing streak has stripped the A’s of both of those distinctions. Oakland’s problems in the AL West are compounded by the fact that the losses of the past two nights have come against the Los Angeles (nee Anaheim, nee California) Angels, who now sit on top of the division.

The Rays, unlike the other three teams in the Cheapskate, are on fire. After consecutive sweeps of AL East foes Toronto and Boston, Tampa Bay dropped a game to Baltimore. But the Rays bounced back last night with an 8-1 win in Baltimore. Following this series, the Rays head up to Boston for a payback series against the Red Sox, and that stretch could mean the end of Tampa Bay’s surge.

And then there’s the Pirates. Forget yesterday’s bombing of the Mets: the Buccos have still lost four of six and 10 of the last 14. Next they head to the nation’s capitol for a four-game series with the craptastic Nationals. Should be a chance for the Pirates to put some numbers in the win column, but don’t bet on it. That’s exactly the kind of series that the Pirates have perfected over the past 15 years: getting swept by a team that just might actually be a worse franchise.




Record: 15-12
Standing: 1st in NL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $242,627.78

Record: 15-12
Standing: 2nd in AL East
Games back: 1
Money spent per win: $486,895.54

Record: 17-12
Standing: 2nd in AL West
Games back: 1
Money spent per win: $505,100.46


Record: 11-16
Standing: 6th in NL Central
Games back: 6
Money spent per win: $747,958.84

Peak: Fever in the funk house, Pt. 7 - Broken Boy Soldiers

Or: How I fill up 2 GB

(Being the continuing alphabetical series of the contents of my iPod)





Album: Broken Boy Soldiers
Artist: The Raconteurs
Released: 2006

Track listing:
1. Steady, As She Goes
2. Hands
3. Broken Boy Soldier
4. Intimate Secretary
5. Together
6. Level
7. Store Bought Bones
8. Yellow Sun
9. Call It a Day
10. Blue Veins



Allmusic.com review:
It's hard to call the Raconteurs a genuine supergroup since there's only one true rock star in the quartet: the White Stripes' eccentric mastermind Jack White. Sometime between the recording of the Stripes' 2003 breakthrough Elephant and its willfully difficult 2005 follow-up, Get Behind Me Satan, White teamed up with fellow Detroit singer/songwriter Brendan Benson to write some tunes, eventually drafting the rhythm section of Cincinnati garage rockers the Greenhornes as support. Lasting just ten tracks, their debut, Broken Boy Soldiers, doesn't feel hasty, but it doesn't exactly feel carefully considered, either. It sounds exactly as what it is: a busman's holiday for two prodigiously gifted pop songwriters where they get to indulge in temptations that their regular gig doesn't afford. For Benson, he gets to rock harder than he does on his meticulously crafted solo albums; for White, he gets to shed the self-imposed restrictions of the White Stripes and delve into the psychedelic art pop he's hinted at on Elephant and Satan. Both Benson and White are indebted to '60s guitar pop, particularly the pop experiments of the mid-'60s — in its deliberately dark blues-rock, Elephant resembled a modern-day variation of the Stones' Aftermath, while Benson has drawn deeply from Rubber Soul and Revolver, not to mention the Kinks or any number of other '60s pop acts — so they make good, even natural, collaborators, with Brendan's classicist tendencies nicely balancing Jack's gleeful freak-outs. Appropriately, Broken Boy Soldiers does sound like the work of a band, with traded lead vocals and layers of harmonies, and no deliberate emphasis on one singer over the other. Even if there's a seemingly conscious effort to give Brendan Benson and Jack White equal space on this brief album, White can't help but overshadow his partner: as good as Benson is, White's a far more dynamic, innovative, and compelling presence — there's a reason why he's a star. But he does willingly embrace the teamwork of a band here, dressing up Benson's songs with weird flourishes, and playing some great guitar along the way. If the Raconteurs don't rock nearly as hard as the White Stripes — there's a reckless freedom in Jack's careening performances when he's supported only by Meg White — they do have some subtle sonic textures that the Stripes lack, and a tougher backbone than Benson's albums, which makes them their own distinctive entity. And they're a band that has their own identity — it may be somewhat stuck in the '60s, but they're not monochromatic, showcasing instead a variety of sounds, ranging from sparely ominous single "Steady, as She Goes" and the propulsive pop of "Hands" to the churning Eastern psychedelia of "Intimate Secretary" and the grandiose menace of the title track to the slow blues burn of "Blue Veins." These songs, and the five other cuts on this album, prove that the Raconteurs are nothing less than a first-rate power pop band — but they're nothing more, either. They may not rewrite the rules of pop on Broken Boy Soldiers, but they don't try to: they simply lie back and deliver ten good, colorful pop songs, so classic in style and concise in form that the album itself is barely over in 30 minutes. It's brief and even a little slight, but it's almost as much fun to listen to as it must have been to make.


So yeah, that’s quite a long review from allmusic.com, and if you’ve read that, there’s probably not much more I can add. But I still like to talk, and I like music, and I really like this album, so I’ll still say a few things.

Yes, Broken Boy Soldiers is pop rock, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. In college, I would have scorned a 30-minute record full of three-and-a-half-minute songs; since then, I’ve grown to appreciate fine song-writing, and this album has it in spades. We already knew Jack White could write a tune in the drum-guitar framework of The White Stripes; here we find out that the dude can write one hell of a rock number in the context of a full band. Songs like “Hands,” “Intimate Secretary,” and especially “Level” are brimming with a pure energy that reminds you how much fun rock music can be (which some of us might have forgotten after listening to The White Stripes too much).

And let’s not forget, “Steady, As She Goes” was used as the music for the Pirates 2007 commercial that featured “Steady Freddy” Sanchez (“Steady Freddy” is a nickname coined by “Voice of the Pirates” Greg Brown; I prefer Dirty Sanchez as a nickname, but they didn’t ask me).

I think that’s about all I have to say about Broken Boy Soldiers. I highly recommend spending 30 minutes of your time listening to the album, and then spending another hour watching youtube clips of The Raconteurs performing everything from their own material to the Gnarls Barkley rave-up “Crazy.” The highlight of the album for me is “Level,” and that’s the youtube I included in this post. The video is a live version, but it still rocks pretty good. Do yourself a favor and go find the original. If you’re my friend, e-mail me and I’ll make a copy for you. It’s just that good.

Gutter: Cheapskate update - 4/29

A weekend sidetrack created a five-day lull in updating the Cheapskate standings. Thank God I’m the only person who is actually interested in this wholly irrelevant system of ranking Major League Baseball teams.

Anyway, I still do find it interesting, so I’m going to continue updating the Cheapskate standings.

Just to refresh, here are the numbers.

Total salaries (according to this list published by the Associated Press):

Pittsburgh $49,365,283
Oakland $47,967,126
Tampa Bay $43,820,598
Florida $21,836,500

Cost per game:

Pittsburgh $304,723.97
Oakland $296,093.37
Tamp Bay $270,497.52
Florida $134,793.21

There have been some surprising happenings in the competition for best value-based mediocrity (or mediocrity-based value, depending on your perspective). Most notable is the Tampa Bay ball club, which has now won six in a row, including a 4-0 stretch over the past five days. And while the winning streak hasn’t been enough to push the Rays out of third place in the Cheapskate standings, they have drawn within $13,000 of the second-place Athletics; perhaps more importantly (although not to me), is that the Rays’ six-game winning streak has brought them into a tie for first place in the AL East.

At the same time, Oakland has gone 4-1 over the past five days to hold onto first place in the AL West and second place in the Cheapskate rankings. But it’s not enough to get over the Marlins, whose 2-2 record over the past five has been enough to stick them in first place in the NL East and the Cheapskates. Florida’s low total salary is going to require a complete collapse if Oakland or Tampa Bay hope to take over the top spot in the Cheapskates.

Oh yeah, the Pirates are in this thing, too. Dropping Matt Morris was a nice PR move, but they still owe him the 10 mill for this year, so it’s not going to help their Cheapskate ranking. Ditto for the 1-3 record over the weekend: that kind of winning percentage is not going to improve any standings, be they in the NL Central or the Cheapskates.


Record: 15-10
Standing: 1st in NL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $224,655.35


Record: 17-10
Standing: 1st in AL West
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $470,265.94


Record: 14-11
Standing: T-1st in AL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $483,031.29

Record: 10-15
Standing: 6th in NL Central
Games back: 6
Money spent per win: $761,809.93

Gutter: Cheapskate update - 4/24

Ordinarily I probably wouldn’t do a Cheapskate update two days in a row, but there is major moving and shaking going on with the four cheapest teams in Major League Baseball, as they combined to go 4-0 last night. And what’s more is that the two bottom-feeders in this group (Pittsburgh and Tampa Bay) have now each won two in a row, climbing out of the basements in their respective divisions in the process.

The Pirates have been particularly impressive, as their two-game winning streak consists of a win over the Cheapskate-leading Marlins (Tuesday night) and a win over the NL Central-leading Cardinals (Wednesday night). Pittsburgh took a half-game lead on Cincinnati in the NL Central in the process, vaulting the Reds into fifth place.

The Rays, meanwhile, have done the best kind of work over the past two days, taking the first two games of a three-game series from AL East foe Toronto and leap-frogging the Blue Jays in the process.

As it stands now, none of the four Cheapskate contenders currently sit in the bottom of their division, and Oakland and Florida continue to lead the AL West and NL East, respectively.

Naturally, all of this winning is having a positive effect on the teams’ costs per win, with the Marlins dipping under $220,000, the A’s right around half a mil, the Rays dropping down to $568,000, and the Pirates looking to get under $700,000. That’s the price of success, folks.




Record: 13-8
Standing: 1st in NL East
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $217,742.88


Record: 13-9
Standing: T-1st in AL West
Games back: 0
Money spent per win: $501,081.09


Record: 10-11
Standing: 4th in AL East
Games back: 4
Money spent per win: $568,044.79

Record: 9-12
Standing: 5th in NL Central
Games back: 6
Money spent per win: $711,022.60

Peak: Fever in the funk house, Pt. 6 - Bringing It All Back Home

Or: How I fill up 2 GB

(Being the continuing alphabetical series of the contents of my iPod)



Album: Bringing It All Back Home
Artist: Bob Dylan
Released: 1965

Track listing:
1. Subterranean Homesick Blues
2. She Belongs to Me
3. Maggie’s Farm
4. Love Minus Zero/No Limit
5. Outlaw Blues
6. On the Road Again
7. Bob Dylan’s 115th Dream
8. Mr. Tambourine Man
9. Gates of Eden
10. It’s Alright, Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)
11. It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue

Allmusic.com review:
With Another Side of Bob Dylan, Dylan had begun pushing past folk, and with Bringing It All Back Home, he exploded the boundaries, producing an album of boundless imagination and skill. And it's not just that he went electric, either, rocking hard on "Subterranean Homesick Blues," "Maggie's Farm," and "Outlaw Blues"; it's that he's exploding with imagination throughout the record. After all, the music on its second side — the nominal folk songs — derive from the same vantage point as the rockers, leaving traditional folk concerns behind and delving deep into the personal. And this isn't just introspection, either, since the surreal paranoia on "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)" and the whimsical poetry of "Mr. Tambourine Man" are individual, yet not personal. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, really, as he writes uncommonly beautiful love songs ("She Belongs to Me," "Love Minus Zero/No Limit") that sit alongside uncommonly funny fantasias ("On the Road Again," "Bob Dylan's 115th Dream"). This is the point where Dylan eclipses any conventional sense of folk and rewrites the rules of rock, making it safe for personal expression and poetry, not only making words mean as much as the music, but making the music an extension of the words. A truly remarkable album.


Truth be told, if you don’t like Dylan, you probably wouldn’t like my iPod, as Bringing It All Back Home is the first (alphabetically, at least) of three Dylan albums currently loaded, and one of 13 that are readily available in my iTunes library. The beauty of having that many Dylan albums on tap is that his music is so wonderfully diverse: even on one album, Dylan can run the gamut from rock to folk, from mournful sorrow to jubilance, from twisted wordplay metaphors to stark realism.

And such is the case on Bringing It All Back Home. I wasn’t alive to hear “Subterranean Homesick Blues” when it first appeared on the radio, but I imagine it sounded just as jaggedly raw and purely rocking as it does today. From there, things never really slow down, even on the love songs like “She Belongs to Me” or “Love Minus Zero/No Limit.”

Really, I could spend this time talking about Dylan’s breaking-away that lies under the surface in so many of these songs, about how songs like “Baby Blue” and “Maggie’s Farm” seem to reflect his departure from the folk movement, but that context has been laid out many times before.

To me, Bringing It All Back Home is a collection of tremendous songs, with each one carrying its own weight, and I think the highlights lie in the weightiest of tunes, particularly the duo of “It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)” and “It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue,” a pair of songs that close the album as strongly as any two songs have ever closed an album. Each is a complex and layered tapestry of images, emotions, and exquisite writing.

It’s no wonder Bringing It All Back Home is widely considered to be one of Dylan’s best works, if not the top overall.